Delicious.

I, freak that I am, have multiple pet peeves. I will try to refrain from listing EVERY one here .. mostly ‘cuz I want to leave a little space on my blog to write about .. ummmm .. some other occasional topic.

The majority of my pet peeves are of the poor manners/ignorant social mores – type.

1. Smacking gum, chewing gum, pretty much anything involving gum. C’mon. You look like a cow chewing cud. That is bad enough, but then you have to smack it? Pop it? Suck it through your teeth? Really? Of what purpose does gum serve? I mean if your breath stinks, eat a damn Tic-Tac. This pet peeve is increased 1000% if said gum abuser is a woman. Fewer things are more un-sexy on a woman than a gum-smacker. You might as well pick your nose and eat it. Seriously. Spit the gum out.
2. Then there is talking with food in your mouth.  Is what you have to say soooooooo important that you can’t wait 5.6 seconds and eat that bite of cheeseburger BEFORE you tell me about what happened at work last night? Why don’t you just spit it out and hand it to me? That would be about the same level of rudeness. Here’s an idea: Eat. Then talk. It’s really pretty simple.
3. People who get in an elevator (or bus or train or cab) BEFORE others get out. Newsflash: you are RUDE. Is it not common sense to you that you should let people out of a small enclosed place before you add your selfish ass to said place? Really? These are the people I elbow as I’m getting off the train/bus/cab/elevator. You have been warned.
4. People who suck that nasty snot in the back of your throat DOWN instead of blowing it out. I don’t want to hear any excuses. It’s nasty. Spit it out, suck it out, whatever. But swallow it? G.R.O.S.S.
5. People who talk out loud in the movie theatre .. during the movie. Seriously, STFU. We are not in your god damn living room. How is this any different than walking up to someone in the middle of a conversation and just talking .. out loud .. about whatever you want to talk about .. but not TO them? In fact, that might be less rude because at least you could start your conversation over or repeat what was just said. In the movies, I can’t push ‘rewind’ on my TiVO and hear what the main character just whispered to the gullible supporting character about the secret plot to destroy the world. Moreover, who gives a shit if you figured out the plot? Do us all a favor, rent ALL movies you wish to see from now on, then you can talk whenever you like. You are ruining the movies for the rest of us. And .. yes, I AM one of those people who will shush you in a heartbeat if you talk .. even during the previews.
6. People who shuffle their feet. I mean, really, can you get any lazier? How hard can it be to pick your feet up a 1/4 inch? How do these people not go through 5 pairs of shoes a month? You would think all that shuffling would wear their shoes out, right? PICK.YOUR.FEET.UP. That is all.
7. People who wait in line for 15 minutes to order food and then get to the front of the line and take 5 more minutes studying the menu before they finally order. ARRRGGGHHHHH. The sign didn’t move. It was there the whole time. I looked at it. I picked out what I wanted. In fact, I knew what I wanted before I even walked in this place. By the way, what the hell were you DOING while you were standing in line? Updating your Facebook status? How about you put this on your status: ‘at McDonald’s. can’t decide what to eat, but don’t want to look at the menu ‘cuz i’m stupid. lol.’
8. People who don’t give a mandatory ‘thank-you wave’ when I let them into traffic. I want to ram my car in to them. I’m from the South, we pride ourselves on our mannerly ways. If I let you out in traffic, you OWE me a wave. It’s in the book of rules. I mean, I was being polite and how do you return the favor? By pulling out in front of me and then ignoring me? These people get the one-finger salute and they screw it up for every other person on my commute who I WOULD have let out in traffic, but now I’m a rambling, screaming mess .. yelling at folks, cutting them off. Politeness goes a long way toward killing road rage, IMHO.

Some of my other pet peeves involve my grammarphobe tendencies:

1. The word ‘irregardless’ .. or more specifically, the ‘not-a-word’ word irregardless. I cannot let that one go when I hear someone say it. Can’t do it. I have tried. I nearly had an aneurysm. I.MUST.CORRECT.THIS.
2. People who say “On tomorrow, we are going to ….” GAH!
3. Folks who wouldn’t know an adverb if they tripped over it and stubbed their toe. When I hear someone say, “She was walking so slow…”, I can be heard shouting “ly”! I know. I am obnoxious. When Apple ran an ad campaign years back with the tagline “Think different”, it drove me absolutely nuts. I sounded like some crazy drunk homeless person shouting out “LY!” at the television every time the ad came on. I even took to writing ‘ly’ at at the end of the tagline when I saw an Apple print ad in a magazine or newspaper. True story.

Ok, I’ll stop there. Tell me your thoughts? What did I miss?

I might have also ranted about this here:

• Girl Talk Thursday – Seriously? Attractive?
• GTT – Embarrassing Moments
• Girl Talk Thursday – Ring, Fling, Swing

Tags: Girl Talk Thursday, GTT, pet peeves