Wow. April 2009. Memorable.
The month started with a wild ‘n crazy trip with a girlfriend of mine. You might remember I had my worst parent fail EVAH while planning said trip. Anyhoo, here is the skinny on the girl’s weekend.
You also may remember that we decided to go to the Caribbean, ultimately settling on the Bahamas. We got a swanky little room in a swanky hotel with swanky (and skanky) people all around. We put on our cute little swimsuits with our matching cover ups and strutted down to the pool. We had decided to take it easy the first day. Our philosophy was why have a hangover after only one day, right? So we ate, we drank, we swam, we oogled. We were happy as little clams.
Day 2, we decided to walk around the property a little. (incidentally, we saw Adrian Brody on this canvas. He is cuter in person, btw.) We had a few drinks and then went to the pool. The pool at said swanky hotel was full of beautiful people. Some were beautiful, plastic people. We busied ourselves giggling at the scene. There was a group of women who appeared to have *ahem* spent *ahem* lots of time at the plastic surgeon’s office. They came to the pool in Jimmy Choo’s, carrying Prada bags, and wearing Cartier sunglasses. They took off their shoes, jumped in the pool (while being very careful not to get their hairs wet), and CARRIED their shoes over to the lounging deck. Then, of course, put their Jimmy Choo’s back on while they tanned on the lounging deck. Good times.
Anyhoo, we began to watch as various men tried to get in on their party. Several were successful .. for awhile. Then said Barbies kicked them off the platform – telling them their husbands/boyfriends/pimps *cough* would be upset if they saw them *cough* cavorting. Several of these rejects gentlemen (actually it was two brothers) had bought said girls a pitcher of mojitos. What a sad state .. to see these guys – rejected by the plastic – carrying their untouched pitcher of beautiful mojitos across the pool on their walk of shame.
We couldn’t resist saying something to the guys. Not something mean! Rather, something in sympathy. Fast forward about 7 minutes. Said rejects gave US that pitcher. Yes .. we were second runner-ups. No … we did not care. In all actuality, we only drank one drink each and the pitcher went to waste. Reasonable vacation sobriety still in tact.
Day 3, we had a late breakfast and were at the pool by 11:00. Here is the lowdown on the following 5 hours:
- we began drinking as soon as we got there;
- we shamelessly flirted with said guys;
- said guys bought drinks;
- said girls (that would be us, not the Barbies) decided to forgo lunch and …. drink;
- this said girl, who left home with a slight stomach bug, did the UNTHINKABLE. Shots. I don’t do shots. Ever. There was a time, but my liver is not forgiving of my shot intake anymore, thus NO SHOTS FOR ME. Unless you are having a girl’s weekend, in the Caribbean, and trying to relive your youth;
- ME = pass out;
- ME = had to go the ER.
That’s right. My sterling record of partying within reason while vacationing SHOT.TO.HELL. *sigh* Everything turned out fine. It was a combination of stomach bug, no lunch, too much sun, and my liver telling me to go to hell.
NEVER was I so happy to get home. The rest of April, I am happy to report brought much more low key activities. It involved a LOT of quiet nights at home. No alcohol involved. Good times.
I might have also ranted about this here:
Tags: 2009, alcohol, reflections
